Updated: Nov 4, 2021
by Chris Henderson
You’ll find that, frequently, I write about my brooding and thoughts during the day-to-day events of life. I learned a long time ago that the Holy Spirit is always with us—whispering his love, encouraging, enabling, and carrying us throughout whatever circumstances we may be experiencing.
Most often, I hear God’s voice when I’m driving—either listening to scripture or to worship music. I commute 30-40 minutes each way to and from work daily, giving me more than an hour a day alone. So many people complain about traffic and delays but, over the last 10 years, I’ve made my car my sanctuary. There, He has my attention and has isolated me away from the rest of the world in a way that does not happen at home. I can pray and listen freely. I can cry without embarrassment, rage angrily, laugh without reservation, sing at the top of my lungs, or whisper quietly. I can also just be quiet.
I’m exposed when I’m driving. There’s no other place to hide from God. In fact, I have to consciously choose to shut Him out because He always has something to say if I’m listening. Yes, I’m guilty of hiding from God sometimes. In fact, I’ve done a lot of hiding recently.
Many of you know I’m a physician and have been practicing for more than 30 years. For the last 10 years, I have predominantly cared for critically ill patients in the ICU. I frequently must perform invasive procedures, partner with multiple health care team members, unravel medical mysteries, and yes, also help our nurses and therapists in moving, lifting, and “cleaning” patients. I help them with these tasks because I know they would do the same for me. I have seen incredible compassion in those I work with. I have also been no stranger to seeing death up close in its face and have spent countless hours praying with patients and families; counseling families; and trying to offer support while they agonize in empathy with their loved one’s suffering or grieve with their loss.
These last 18 months, I’ve seen more suffering and death than the last 10 years of my career. More than I saw in three deployments to Iraq and Uzbekistan. More than I ever want to see. More than I could ever try to forget. Those wonderful people I work with? They’ve seen it as well; and they have cried and wept trying their best to help, feeling so impotent—all because of one terrible infection. Pandemic.
Young, old, previously sick, and some previously healthy: all have been cut down or debilitated by this disease. And the countless hours of procedures, emergency interventions, multiple IV drips and medication, tests and interventions do so little to help. And yes, we’ve had families accuse us, their medical professionals, of not caring, or even killing their loved ones. It’s hard. It’s cruel. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.
Why am I writing about this? Because this is where I am. There’s a lot of anger in our country because so many disagree with how best to fight this pandemic. I’m not going to judge or preach; yes, I have my own opinions. I will say that I never want any of you to get sick enough with this disease to need me to help you; I know how you will suffer, and I don’t want that for anyone. I don’t want that for you.
I’m writing this because I am seeing good people leave medicine because they can’t do this anymore. Because I know that many will be affected by this for the rest of their professional careers. Because I know it hurts.
The only way I know to find any substantial healing for myself is by the love of God. I have tried to shut this out and, in essence, have tried to shut Him out by not honestly reflecting on how bad this is and how desperately I need His help every day.
So…as I am driving to work, I listen to this song. He gave me this song to make it through today. Some of you may be at that place in life where making it through today seems impossible. Maybe this song will help you like it’s helped me.
So, I thank Him for His favor, for His mercy and His grace. I don’t have the ability to think about tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or next year.
But I know He will be sufficient for me today.
Listening Library: Sufficient For Today (Maverick City Music)
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:33-34 ESV)
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
(Isaiah 40:31 ESV)
Sufficient For Today (feat. Maryanne J. George & Mav City Gospel Choir)
There may be storms That will move out the way And trials will come To only test my faith What I've learned about Your favor Your mercy and Your grace Is they go on forever They're sufficient for today When I'm worried about tomorrow I won't be overwhelmed And the burdens that I've carried I will choose to lay them down 'Cause what I've learned about Your favor Your mercy and Your grace Is they go on forever They're sufficient for today And hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today And hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today In the joy and in the sorrow I find You just the same And behind my darkest mornings There's a peace I can't explain I'm so grateful for Your favor Your mercy and Your grace 'Cause they go on forever They're sufficient for today And hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today One day I'll finally see You And my faith will be my sign And all my present suffering Will be gone and left behind I'll be standing in Your favor Your mercy and Your grace 'Cause they go on forever They still go on forever Oh, they still go on forever All glory to Your name Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah All glory to Your name Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah All glory to Your name Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today And hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah They're sufficient for today