Chris Henderson
Jun 30, 20213 min
by Chris Henderson
We spent so much time praying that God would heal our son, Robert, and free him of his terrible illness. We wondered why would God allow him to suffer so much. Like so many other parents, we asked, “Why won’t God heal him?” There were no answers.
We later began to understand that his condition was, in fact, a genetic condition. It was only after he passed away, that we had the complete genetic report that revealed he had a sporadic (one-of-a-kind) set of mutations that could not be passed on and had not originated in parental chromosomes. He had been created uniquely.
This should not have surprised me. We all accept the fact that we are formed in our mothers’ wombs—a one-of-a-kind combination of chromosomes that manifest to form a UNIQUE human being. Even identical twins with the exact same chromosomal makeup present with physical and personality differences, no matter how similar they appear.
Robert had not contracted some infectious or inflammatory disease, or had some form of trauma that injured his brain. He was created Robert—unique, complex, whole. He was a representation of God’s glory and God’s character—so complex, so beyond my understanding or comprehension. He was indeed that. His love was unconditional; his acceptance was complete. His trust was unwavering. His forgiveness was complete. I did not deserve him, the same way I do not deserve God’s love. This was and is God’s grace completely revealed to me.
In retrospect, it’s so easy to see what God did in our lives through Robert. In the midst of the struggle, it was not so easy. Anytime we see someone whose future seems stolen from them, we feel helplessness, and anger. We want our plans and dreams to be fulfilled in those we love. In the end, I accepted the blessings of the Lord I received through my son the same way I accepted the blessings I received from each of my children—each UNIQUE—special, revealing aspects of God’s love and character that I would have missed in their absence. I miss Robert daily, the same way I miss talking to all my children now that they have flown the coop. Speaking to them is like water to a thirsty man. I just wish I could talk to Robert, too.
Robert did not have a disease or condition to be cured. He was exactly as God created him to be—genetically unique.
Listening Library: Jireh (Elevation Worship & Maverick City Music)
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.” (Psalm 139:13-18 ESV)
Jireh
I’ll never be more loved
Than I am right now
Wasn’t holding you up
So there’s nothing I can do
To let you down
Doesn’t take a trophy
To make you proud
I’ll never be more loved
Than I am right now
Going through a storm
But I won’t go down
I hear your voice
Carried in the rhythm
Of the wind to call me out
You would cross an ocean
So I wouldn’t drown
You’ve never been closer
Than you are right now
Jireh, You are enough
Jireh, You are enough
I will be content
In every circumstance
Jireh, You are enough
I don’t wanna forget
How I feel right now
On the mountain top
I can see so clear what it’s all about
Stay by my side
When the sun goes down
I don’t wanna forget
How I feel right now
I’m already loved,
I’m already chosen
I know who I am
I know what you’ve spoken
I’m already loved,
More than I could imagine
And that is enough
If he dresses the lilies
With beauty and splendor
How much more will he clothe you
How much more
Will he clothe you
If he watches over every sparrow
How much more does he love you
How much more
Does he love you
More than you ask
Think or imagine
According to His power
Working in us
It’s more than enough
Songwriters: Chandler Moore, Christopher Joel Brown, Naomi Raine, Steven Furtick
Jireh lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Essential Music Publishing